Getting Started

Well. I was scanning through an online message board, reading a lot of pretentious and painfully earnest attempts to “define” poetry. I was fast losing patience. And wondering how come it is that so many, no honestly it’s almost all, of the people that ostensibly share many of my values and opinions irritate me beyond distraction with their self-righteous, self-important and unjustifiably condescending attitude towards anyone who doesn’t walk in lock-step.

I was about to add a comment, when I saw:

“poetry is simply the intangible described using language.
“you people are all stupid. poetry cannot be defined using poetry. so stop trying to seem all sophisticated and intelligent by doing so.”

Which certainly tickled me… And of course there were responses from the kind and gentle people. Condescending and oh-so-superior… Who then returned to their self-congratulatory spoutings. But:

“wow. thats deep.”

I do appreciate a fine-tuned bs detector, especially one connected to a loud alarm! I thought to myself that here is someone who would give me an honest opinion. (Not that I don’t trust the opinions of those close to me - but it would be interesting to get a total stranger’s view).

Hence the following exchange:

Drew
December 19 at 2:04pm

the only incisive voice on “—–” (puhleeze!) was yours - so please criticise:
http://art.andrewmaben.net/blacknight/

Michelle
December 19 at 4:20pm

I would be honored to critique your work Mr. Maben.

Michelle
December 19 at 4:27pm

Decisions, Decisions…

this poem is beautifully constructed. it really captures the feelings of love at first sight, turning a very cliche concept into something that many people have tried to do before and have yet to succeed. i find myself really relating to this poem and it grabs my heart which is what poems are meant for.

Michelle
December 19 at 4:36pm

Cancer Ward

this poem upsets me, but i dislike how the cancer patient (narrarator) feels as though their soul is rotting. many people very close to me have had cancer and ive found them to have almost angelic souls. everything they do they put their whole heart into and the little things make them appreciate life that much more. if anything their soul is enriched, and although cancer is a scary thing, it turns people into more kind and loving people.

at first, this poem seemed to contradict itself, but as i read and re-read the poem many times i began to understand the message. i think the transition from a rotting soul to the question of who loses when you dont love needs to be a little more clear seeing as many people dont read a poem various times.

Michelle
December 19 at 4:47pm

Child’s Play

i would like to point out the punctuation in this poem. it’s fabulous quite frankly. each comma and period gives meaning to the line it concludes and i think that puts out the strong message you are trying to convey. i really like how this poem can be interpreted many ways too. at first i saw it as someone who doesn’t regret loving someone who didn’t love them back, and then it made sense as someone who was angry at their lover who just cheated on them, there are so many ways to think of this poem and i think that makes it really special because it allows a wide range of people to relate to it, which, again, i find very important.

Michelle
December 19 at 4:59pm

now, this doesn’t pertain to one particular poem, but in general i don’t see the connections between a lot of the titles and the poems. i assume the point isn’t for me to understand but i’ve tried again and again to analyze where the title comes in with a few of them and i was wondering if perhaps you named a few just the first thing that came into your mind after writing the poem, which of course would refer to freud’s theory of free association, personally, i reject many of freud’s theories including free association, but if that’s how you came up with the title it would make sense.

Michelle
December 19 at 5:02pm

Black Flag

i really enjoyed this poem, it could be considered one of my favorites. the allusion to the wizard of oz plays in perfectly. it took a few stanzas before i understood the relation to the rest of the poem which is also why i really like the repetition of it. it emphasizes the meaning while also giving the reader more time to make the connection. this poem was clearly well thought out.

Michelle
December 19 at 5:04pm

– also on that poem, i really liked the use of parentheses. while pointing out the obvious they are another stopper where the reader has to think. many people don’t realize how when the obvious is handed to them they have to rethink things, and i like how you articulated that aspect of human nature.

Michelle
December 19 at 5:06pm

Where on Earth..?

if you’re looking for a definition of poetry, i think this about sums it up, words that come to you without reason, and although you don’t know why they came to you, you know that they make sense

Drew
December 19 at 9:41pm

Just read your latest on “——”..! I’m impressed [obviously] by your keen nose for bs. And willingness to point out the smell. Which is why I asked you to take a look.

I hadn’t dared imagine you might respond so generously.

Yes, some of the titles are intended to be enigmatic. But somewhere the titles do relate quite directly to the words.

“A Dream of Erin” - The “you” of the poem has an elfin nature (I’d say leprechaunian, but if a word at all, it is a bit unwieldy) anyway somehow reminds me of the mists and mystery of Ireland.

“Cancer Ward” - it’s been suggested that one should steal from the best… so why not? But I have always felt a connection between soul-rot and cancer. You say “it turns people into more kind and loving people.” I hope so. Which is what the second half is about. As to the connection. Ya know… If it was there for you to see, it’s there for anyone who cares to look, right?

“Child’s Play” - It’s child’s play to hurt someone. And it’s childish to hurt yourself to do it. (And you noticed the punctuation!)

“Black Flag” - pest killer, obviously. (There’s also “subtext”: The other guitar player in D****’s band was my “girl friend” until she took up with the bass player of the band Black Flag).

Michelle
December 19 at 9:57pm

child’s play: haha yes, the punctuation is a big thing for me, my grand father is actually a published poet and he STRONGLY encourages me to write so he gives me a lot of pointers, such as how to use punctuation and where to cut the line to add suspense

cancer ward: i see exactly what you’re saying about the cancer ward poem. you want to make people look, but i think there should be some sort of hook that makes you want to look when you read it. i very much liked the poem, my mother’s best friend died just last year of brain cancer and many of my close family has suffered from it so it holds close to my heart.

black flag: i’m not sure what you meant with black flag about pest killer… i’m terrible at reading sarcasm or any sort of tone actually on the internet. but i read it as a man singing to a woman who’s going after all these worthless men and he’s watching her do it while he wishes she was with him “the bear”.

a dream of erin: i love this poem. i love the romance, the mystery, the fantasy, the entire poem gives off an essence which simply captivates me. erin is also one of my favorite names, i’m 100% irish so i tend to lean towards irish names preference-wise.

Drew
December 19 at 11:08pm

“you want to make people look, but i think there should be some sort of hook that makes you want to look when you read it.”

That made me stop and think. You know, this is a lesson that I’ve learnt the hard way. Perhaps I think you ( “dear reader”! ) should have to exert a little effort over it?

And simply - swatting mosquitos -> insecticide -> black flag, and I liked the hook back into an earlier experience. I love the circles and spirals of my life, of our thoughts. And from an aesthetic standpoint - which I try to expose, rather than impose - I have always liked to explore the boundaries of coherence. In poetry, I’m especially interested in how the most intimate and particular of circumstances can resonate far more deeply than more general expressions. And the chorus echoes a conversation we had one night:

Me: “Why are you wasting your time? On this?”
She: “I like to be pursued.”
Me: “We all like to be pursued, E____. But why mosquitoes and other vermin? When there’s lions and tigers…”
She: “And bears? Oh my.”

And re: “Erin” - this was a quite extraordinary summer for me. I regained something of myself I had thought long lost. The mountain metaphor is the direct reflection of a story she told of a literal walk in mountain fog that led to the edge of a precipice…